A short play

Drunk Woman In Bar: It's been HOW LONG since you worked??
Me: *mumbles*
DWIB: So you're on benefits then? I'm paying for you to sit here drinking?
Me: *angry* FUCK OFF. I'm not claiming anything. I'm self-employed. I choose not to give myself much work.
DWIB: You know your problem?
Me: Enlighten me.
DWIB: You've lost self-confidence. You've lost self-belief.
Me: Well, I think that's a little ....
DWIB: You have a girlfriend or wife? Ex-wife? Kids?
Me: No
DWIB: So what's wrong with you then?
Me: Err, just a bit quiet ... I guess ... not met the right girl at the right time or something.
DWIB: Sure
*time passes*
DWIB: We'll go to your house.
Me: Okay
*time passes*
DWIB: You don't have any furniture?
Me: Well, umm, I have some. I have a chair and a table ... and a big telly and surround sound.
DWIB: Do you have a hoover?
Me: Yes.
DWIB: You ever used it?
Me: Yes. Okay, a few months ago.
DWIB: You got any booze? I could use a drink.
Me: No. I try not to have booze in the house.
DWIB: You an alcoholic?
Me: No. Well, maybe. Look, I just prefer not to have booze in the house right now.
DWIB: Fine. I need a pee. Where's your loo?
Me: Upstairs is the posh one. Downstairs is the common one.
*she goes upstairs*
DWIB: That bathroom is FUCKING DISGUSTING.
Me: Ummm ...
DWIB: There's no excuse for that.
*time passes*
DWIB: You have a SINGLE bed?
Me: Errr, yes.
DWIB: You're 46 and you sleep in a SINGLE bed??
Me: Ummm, yeah.
DWIB: Have you not found that a problem in your dating life?
Me: No. Not until right now, no I haven't.
DWIB: Jesus ...