The Force wobbles

A review of Star Wars: The Force Awakens by Michael Donnelly, aged 46 and 19/20s, as seen on Wednesday 3rd February 2016 at the Glasgow Showcase Cinema in Uddingston.

Non-spoiler brief review

I liked it. I didn't hate, but I didn't love it. It was ... all right.

Non-spoiler extended review

It wasn't until later that day in a nerdy conversation with a good pal o'mine in my local that I concluded I liked it rather more than I thought I did. Leaving the cinema my overwhelming feeling was ambivalence (see Context). But later, with a little distance, I was quite impressed with it.

The good things - seeing the old gang back on-screen. The return to proper practical effects (albeit teamed with state-of-the-art money-no-object CGI and post-production special effects that only a limitless budget and the cheapest contractors can provide). New characters who are actually interesting and that you care about and invest into. The ever-so-brief sobbing when key moments and images flash up on screen and you know you're watching a fan-boy homage. Daisy Ridley shooting to the top of the Potential-Mrs-Donnelly charts (but then I am genetically predisposed to love posh English girls). Solo and Leia. BB-8, who is AWESOME.

The bad things - hard to get into this without getting into spoiler territory. So I won't. There's A LOT wrong with TFA. But not enough to put you off watching.

Conclusion - better than Phantom Menace as a series kick-off; a decent enough film in its own right even if it's so clearly a set-up for a massive franchise. Makes me want so see Rogue One and Episode VIII and visit the Star Wars theme parks and pay silly money for Cantina Brew beer; so it did its job - you'll do the same.

Spoiler-filled extended anal review

Can't really be bothered to be honest. Which says something ...

Context

I can't separate Star Wars with the context within which I saw each movie. OF COURSE my expectations were through the roof in the build up to release. They were for Phantom Menace. And they were for the first silly little movie which some call A New Hope but I just call Star Wars.

Star Wars blew my mind open. Phantom Menace wedged it tightly shut. The Force Awakens didn't impress.

In 1978 a nearly-nine year-old Mikey stood in the chilly January rain with his Dad and Brother around the block at the Glasgow Odeon in Renfield Street. This wee sci-fi film had opened the summer before in the United States (which was - and in many ways still is - impossibly exotic to me). We managed to get in - Dad had parked in the multi-storey up by the bus station and we'd queued for what seemed like hours - and settled down to watch. It's fair to say that a few hours later as we emerged things had changed and my mind had been somewhat rewired. We all headed home for ice-cream and treats and couldn't stop chattering about what had just happened. In many ways I never stopped.

Fast-forward to 1999. It's a cinema in Santa Monica CA and a little film called The Phantom Menace had just opened. A thirty year-old Mikey took his seat in the AMC on the Boulevard next to the girl not just of his dreams but of his craziest, wildest fantasies. It's fair to say that a few hours later as we emerged things had changed and my mind had been somewhat rewired. We sat in a Chinese opposite for a late-dinner and I held my head in my hands. My galpal, the dream of my entire life, chomped on her chow mein and cheerfully suggested, "It wasn't THAT bad ..."

Fast further forward to 2016. It's a cinema in the shit-end of nowhere on a bleak Glasgow February morning and a forty-six year-old Mikey took his seat on his own in one of the smaller cinemas in a multiplex well past its sell-by date just off a motorway. It's fair to say that a few hours later when I emerged things had not changed and my mind had been not at all rewired as I fired up the car and headed off to see Mum at the hospice.

I have history with Star Wars. Some of you will remember about a year ago I suggested I would be in Santa Monica come première night for TFA. That clearly didn't happen. There are a load of reasons for that, but this time, for once, I had a decent one. Family's like that - it kinda stops you. Maybe for Rogue One ...